“Yesterday is a dream. Tomorrow but a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore to this day.” Sanskrit proverb

Even thinking briefly about chemo triggers a bad taste in my mouth (seriously!).  My blood count squeezed by so that I could get my chemo without a special permission. I am still drinking my chicken bone broth weekly, so I refuse to stop since my platelets are at a decent number. It was the only thing I changed. My tumor marker is confusing as always. We continue to gamble with these numbers while having a plan in our back pocket. I am secretly doing my tambourine dance in hope of no change until school starts. I mean how much can one boy take seeing his mom in crazy chemo land during his summer break.

I forgot if I wrote about City of Hope. I took the magic blood test to see if I would qualify for the trial. It is such a small chance since they are looking at a marker on your t cell which only 10% of cancer patients have. It is exciting stuff which is such a great approach that genetically alters your tcells instead of killing all cells with toxic chemo. It seems like the future of cancer treatment, but who knows how long it will all take for the FDA to approve and the world to change their view of one size fits all chemo treatment. We didn’t mind the drive too much. Even though it is about the same mileage to City of Hope and UCLA, it is so much better to avoid the 405 at Westwood. YIKES! It is just always traffic o rama no matter what time you go.

While I was at chemo, I told Alex about a website that grants wishes to ovarian cancer patients. You are supposed to create a video, so Alex created a “rap”. I read it to the nurses at Hoag and patients too. They all loved it. Hope you enjoy it too!

In the subject of “too busy”, I have to get on my soap box . I need to tell you if I can find some moments, you can too. It is always surprising to see how busy everyone is. I know how it was and know how it is. You should stop for a second and say to yourself (really say to yourself in your head), “is what I am doing important or more important than”………..You can fill in the blank. Is it more important to clean your kitchen than to talk to a friend for 4 minutes, listen to your kids for 2 minutes, stop and smell the flowers, share a kind moment with a stranger, reach out and think of someone else, or just plain ole’ stop and take a deep breath (just one or 2). Honestly, I have to do this and scale back on my crazy motivation for cleaning or organizing. I have learned that the more I get crazy, I make my family crazy too. The more I enjoy every moment, they enjoy every moment too. Now, there are some bumps while living with a tween who thinks he is all that and a bag of chips every so often. I love my moments with each and every person. I really hope if you have come to know and understand me more with my living with cancer that you can really find your sunshine in your day. I really hope that you are not too busy for what is truly important. I really can tell you it is a much better way to live. There is no re-do moment on the day, hour, minute, so why not live in the present and enjoy. We never know about tomorrow, but we know about the now and today. Please don’t let your moments slip away.

We had a special Friday with visitors and fun. Saturday we went to the food bank to take all the 450 books to them and found their shelves empty. We brought a bag of the most items needed thinking it was just like old times when we were just adding to the pile. Alex and I sadly realized that our 6 boxes of cereal would go to the first 6 families on Monday. Then, there would not be any more cereal until they got some donations. They told us how much the books would mean to the children especially the condition which are almost brand new. (“what a treat!”) They told us they have never been in this situation before school starts.  I have never seen it like this since I have been taking Alex there when he was about 5 or 6 years old. We have seen 1/2 empty shelves in the Spring when school is almost out, but that is it. So, I ask you to visit your local food bank, make a donation, clean out your pantry, buy some extra pasta or cereal, and drop by South County Outreach (or a food bank near you).  As Alex keeps saying to me over and over during the weekend, he cannot imagine not having breakfast or not having a lunch to take to school.


Food Pantry & Program Offices
26776 Vista Terrace
Lake Forest, CA 92630
Phone: 949-380-8144
Fax: 949-380-3798
Hours of Operation:
Monday-Friday 9am-3:30pm
First Saturday of each Month 9am-12:00pm

Olivia Pham for special time drop off olivia@sco-oc.org

Marlene Ford for organizing your own food drive, a truck will pick up your items,


Even though the beach was cloudy today, we found a lot of sunshine just being together. I hope you find your sunshine too!



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