Home: 1 Visitors: 7…

It seems these cancer cells are mean. They really are selfish. One week later, I finally thought I had seen the light and it was one of those cancer cells just turning on and off the lights or was it my eyes just shut tight. So far, the chemo is doing it’s best to keep me in bed, and it managed to eat my good blood cells too. All in all, the game is proving more frustrating than ever. Each step of every day is met with new challenges that I thought were happening to someone else’s body. Isn’t it time for just a teeny tiny break? I am not even asking for months or weeks, just a couple of hours without calls, calamities, blood crisis, doctor crisis, aches, pains, and just plain ole’ pain in the butt. I am smiling on the outside and trying to maintain that today is better than yesterday, but not as good as tomorrow. My sleuth Alex can see through it and tries to tell funny stories except my fog creeps in and out and I forget what he is telling me. No one can understand my day to day cancer job. I didn’t choose this job, so I am forced to deal with it the best I know how. Some days are funny, some days are not so funny. I am over it as much as everyone else is over it. While busy life happens, I am consumed with my cancer job and not getting to enjoy the mundane tasks of a somewhat normal life. So, as 2pm approaches, I will begin the calls again and come up with the plan to get myself out of this house. Since my blood counts are being eaten by the chemo, I either stay in the bubble or come up with plan B. I managed not only to exit the house to Hoag Irvine, but did take a shower too. This was a major task and who knew the saga that came after would put me back a half of day. So, as I put on my shoes, I must smile and enjoy my shoes. Finally, after 6 months of blisters, funky shoe days, this new trio of chemo does not wreck my feet. I pull out my extra cute new (old) shoes that I hardly had worn for spring. There is the silver lining: Shoes.  Tomorrow’s score will be better.


2 Responses to “Home: 1 Visitors: 7…”

  1. Nancy Fukuda Says:

    Hi J,

    When I first saw the title of this post, I thought to myself; “wait, what? she’s had visitors?” “I want to be a visitor!”. Miss you. And I know I will get to see you soon. :0)

    Text if I can bring you anything..anything at all.


    Sent from my iPad

  2. terry fierle Says:

    Enjoy the shoes, enjoy alex and jim. Also enjoy the loving thoughts coming from my heart.

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