David McCullough,”Astrophysicists assure us the universe has no center. Therefore you cannot be it.”

Where you goin? Gone to chemo land for too long. I slept for 5 days non stop off and on. I told Alex I was sleeping beauty, but he said sleeping beauty did not look green/grey. Unfortunately, I was in my state that all electronic devices should have been taken away. I was thinking about the cruise, so I started my online shopping….of course, I did not remember that I did any online shopping until a few days ago and didn’t know the extent of what happened until yesterday when a bouquet of flowers arrived from my friend at Nordstom, Kim?! Who, what? I called the florist and then, flashback. I remember slightly that I called Nordstrom when my order for a skirt was being shipped to my dad?! I barely recall the conversation, but do remember rambling on and on about how I shouldn’t do any online shopping while under the influence.

Meanwhile, some super surprising events happened….the PTA surprised me with a lifetime achievement award. My entire family showed up to the meeting which I was expecting to give an award to a parent who had started a terrific program called, ability awareness and a student who has helped our book fair and happens to be an exceptional young girl in middle school….of course, none of that happened. My parents, sister, husband, nieces, nephew, Alex were all there. (poor Jim had to work in San Diego). I really appreciated the honor and spoke from my heart to all those who were there about making the most of the day and thanking our principal, teachers, and office manager who are more than exceptional…I do feel with my cancer job and all the PTA and student activities that I feel like I have accomplished what I set my mind to do. I don’t feel like I am ever done, but am so thrilled with making a difference in these student’s lives. (and most importantly, my son’s life and his outlook on how to be the best you can be)

Not only am I surrounded by my family, but my cousin is here with his family. Of course, the news today is that my tumor marker is up again. Back on the roller coaster ride again…but I will not focus on this damn number, I am surrounded by family and friends. I will continue to fight as I do. I did get the news today that Scripps will be giving me my vaccine on Weds (the one that I had back in Sept and now I am in a crossover study (trial)). I am hopeful that it may be just the push my body will need (some of my dendritic cells on “steroids”) to fight this crappy cancer.

No doubt about it, cancer sucks!

In memory of a fellow cancer warrior-Jennifer Goodwin who passed away June 6

“First of all, stuff happens, and that’s that.  But secondly, not that I would EVER be one of those people who feels lucky to have cancer (GOD NO), but I think about it this way: If you had to choose between:

a) not having any idea whether you were going to live more than four more years and therefore living each day with love and like it was your last or
b) feeling confident that you had a full life ahead of you and continuing to live half-consciously and doing things you don’t like to do, and complaining about everything that is even slightly lacking in your life

Which would you choose? Which would be better? Which would make you feel cursed?

Just a question that got me thinking.

carpe diem, people”

Jennifer Goodwin


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