Rock Star Junior-Alex and my fear of numbers

Will write more later as I am off to UCLA this morning, but had to share that I could not have been more proud of Alex yesterday. We had a meeting at the middle school with 5 adults and then, met the entire office staff. Not only was he assertive in explaining his needs (because he kept getting interrupted), but he explained my cancer as if he was a doctor. He explained my cancer is microscopic cells all over my body and no tumors now exists. He also said if tumors form and invade the major systems of the body like respiratory or circulatory, then my body would not function. Either the adults were so in shock or looked like they did not understand. Alex explained that if the major organs had tumors, then I would not survive, so this is why I am on chemo for the rest of my life. When asked what we talk about at home, he responded that his life is unlike any other kid not because of stress (all kids have stress), but he has to think about things that other kids would not have to think about. He told them that the other night he had asked me if I was going to die from cancer. He explained that there aren’t really answers and that is difficult for him. He is so amazing and I will tell the full story later…but I could not believe the way he handle himself.

Numbers in cancer suck whether it is your blood, the tumor marker or just the statistics. Numbers and having a child when you have cancer is always a calculation. Alex will ask, “when can I drive?” and I think how many years of treatment will that be. Alex will ask, “when can I vote?” and I think how many years of treatment will that be. Alex will say, “at my bar mitzvah, I want to have a party” and I think only 3 more years of treatment. I try to not think of the numbers in this way as far as years, but am reminded by Alex when he asks his questions.

So, off to UCLA and I am not in the mood…but I will be armed and ready to go with the baked goods made with a lot of love. The clouds are starting to clear to sunshine.


One Response to “Rock Star Junior-Alex and my fear of numbers”

  1. Pendar Says:

    Alex is an amazing and special boy…you are in my prayers today as you head to UCLA.

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