Cancer cells gone wild and goin’ rogue….

Basically, the story is too long to repeat, but we will have to see what the tumor marker does tomorrow. If it is rising faster, then off of this chemo and back to the original one I started in April 2010 for one more try and adding another chemo too that is newer. The new one is not proven for any of my cancers and is used to treat  pancreatic or renal cancer. My broken genes are the problem. It is as if I am driving a car without brakes and pushing the gas pedal to the floor. Those are my personal crazy cancer cells which are resistant to chemo. They like the taste at first, but then decide to go crazy and not respond. There isn’t an easy answer especially when going rogue living with cancer.  It is basically just a roll of the dice with the varieties of side effects thrown in for more fun.  I think I have had most of them, so will just go back to my notes and start the crazy ride again. Half of me wants to scream at the top of my lungs, but the other half just is rolling my eyes at this whole process. Just as I am juggling the thought of taking off my wig for the summer, there may be the possibility of back to the art skills of drawing on my eyebrows.  All I care about is feeling as “good” as I feel now for the cruise in July. There is no compromising. I will go on the cruise to Greece, Turkey, Croatia, and Italy. I will feel good and I will enjoy every minute of it. My body has been wonderful in cooperating, so I am assuming it will follow my direct orders. There is nothing much more to do for today, so I will rest and freeze my feet for sleep. By the way, the dermatologist came up with one more cream and said, “ice, cream, and go”. Sounded like a dessert, so I am ready to give it a try.

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