“Raindrops keep fallin’ on my head, But that doesn’t mean my eyes will soon be turnin’ red, Cryin’s not for me, ‘Cause I’m never gonna stop the rain by complainin’, Because I’m free…” BJ Thomas

Okay, I am almost FREE! I did not include the next part of this song which is “nothin is worryin’ me” because we know that is absolutely false! I started this new chemo with my steroid “high”. Oh, I was the superstar who went to school wondering why I felt so great. It was the steroids “talkin”. Then, it all started. Why were my lymph nodes enlarged at the back of my head, neck, armpit, and groin? What was this horrible pain I was feeling? Hmmm, no nausea, but what is going on?? So, I started with the emails, texts, calls to all doctors, but no one thought it was that urgent. I completely forgot to add moans and groans and pretend that I was calling from the ER. If I was talking on the phone, I could obviously not need help. My old truth remains…if you are not bleeding from your eyes, you are FINE! So, I went to my VIP nurse line. I had little reassurance that this was a “normal” reaction, but what did I expect from my usual abnormal reactions to chemo.It all seemed to make sense to them and even more sense was their suggestion to take some pain pills. I refused until night time since I rather not drool on myself. At almost 8pm, my doctor phoned me to tell me that this was a normal response (although not at the top of the list) and it should get better soon. I kept looking for my orange/red urine every time, but nothing appeared. I kept waiting for the other symptoms to happen, but I was left with pain and more pain especially pain in strange areas!  I decided to stay in the bed and watch horrible Bravo TV with the millionaire matchmaker and other such fun shows. I had zero appetite (still trying to find an appetite), cried over my wig hair, cried over my annoyance with having such pain, and just frustration that this was lasting too many days.  Today, despite the clouds and drizzle, I had to take a walk! I needed air outside my house. I was feeling so happy to be out of the house. Of course, this was short lived as the afternoon started. By dinner time, my body was telling me to sleep and sleep without the eat and eat. My pain is less, but now my brain hurts trying to read my heart study that I had prior to starting this chemo. Translation please?!Where is the real language of “heart is broken or it is not broken or this part works fine”? My doctor sent me the report, so he must have not been too concerned. I know tomorrow will be better. Sunday will be the best-GO CLIPPERS!  So, it is supposed to rain all weekend?! I will be thrilled to exit my house, put on my rain boots and dance in the rain!

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