Gotta Luv Insurance?!

I really wanted to spend my energy for the majority of the day talking to insurance people because I had nothing better to do. I should have expected this as the shot I get to boost my white blood cells costs $4,000. Without it, I would need to be in hibernation. Of course, I had to exaggerate this a bit and say that I need this shot or I would be in the hospital. This is a possibility, but never my reality (they do not need to know that). Yes, I love how insurance operates on East coast time. Luckily, I have had enough calories, so my brain was operating efficiently. I had to explain the logistics of their new specialty drug plan would not work for me since I will not be home tomorrow and I need the shot by Friday morning.  The saga did not end, so I have names and numbers and Jim will have to be on assignment after we have our “planning” session with the doctors. At least tomorrow is not the full day in the chemo matrix, so we could have time to get this resolved in the open air outside the matrix. Jim and I have reviewed my reports and made our own fake doctor conclusions based on the facts. Unfortunately, we are not the priority until I either grow fangs or cry tears of blood. The fangs may be possible with my continued blood transfusions, but with no nose hairs tears hurt despite the consistency of the bodily fluid. Our goal is for me to stay on course with the current drugs unless they convince us of something else. I cannot be on chemo for more than this phase. I have decided we all deserve a break-you, me, family, friends…enough is enough. Of course, I will do whatever it takes to get rid of this cancer, but I asked the doctor for a 3 month break. I really want 6 months, but promised not to be greedy.

On a more fun topic is food. Why is it that when you cannot taste food, you want to eat the strangest things? I started with the pickle idea luckily my Dad solved that problem when he was here with Jerry’s Deli pickles. I do like the half done pickles. I am still fixated on marshmallow fluff and tried something like it, but it tasted horrible. I am definitely focused on Pink Berry salted caramel yogurt. I am dreaming of salsa, but only the kind I get at Tanaka Farms. I always hated ketchup and ranch dressing. I still am not a fan of ketchup, but now love ranch dressing especially homemade. I know it was a good sign last night when I wanted to eat something. I should have eaten, but instead passed out. Of course, this morning I started my morning with the medicinal feeling like I took too much of something. Oh great, tomorrow I get more.

Despite my lack of eating, I dropped Alex off at his tennis camp with the high school kids. He has declared that all the girls are very mean (yes, that would be true…glad he is only going to be in 5th grade), but the boys are cool. He does not understand why they are not showing good sportsmanship and even saying “bad words” when they lose. I hope he keeps this attitude. I decided to take a little walk around Soka University (origins from a Buddhist leader) to connect with any type of mindfulness and meditation. I found it strange as I walked the path, the birds were almost walking with me by flying from tree to tree along this path. Strange and beautiful at the same time. I enjoyed my brief walk and realized that you don’t need to be in Hawaii to see some beauty,but oh how I love that tropical air!

So, I will be off tomorrow and ready to face a good discussion, plan of action, or maybe a power point presentation on the top 10 reasons I should continue this type of chemo.  I will find the perfect outfit and accessorize (of course). Until then, I will have nice dreams of birds flying overhead like Snow White! Only issue is that I cannot sing!


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