“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land, there is no other life but this.” ~Henry David Thoreau

I would rather not think about the wave image since I feel as if I am on a deep sea fishing adventure out in the ocean on a rocking boat. Yesterday, there was not enough oxygen and it was very stinky in the matrix! I was sniffing my candle like a strange person making deep inhaling noises to breathe. It was packed in the matrix. I was wearing my Picasso type shirt bought at the Sawdust Festival last year as I felt like a combination of cubism, blue period, and surrealism. I came with arms full of treats including Ants come marching in cupcakes complete with slices of candy watermelon. Again, I was welcomed like I was someone famous. My only issue was once I got the 411 on the nursing staff, I got those butterflies in the stomach. I got a floater male nurse. As a friend told me, I can almost do my own infusion except for getting the IV started. I was armed with many post-its in a variety of bright neon colors. I decided against the note pinned to my jacket in case I was covered with a blanket. I thought the post-it message was more effective. I could place it on the IV machine, my counter of the pod, my notebook, and anywhere else I thought it would help. I told my floater the whole scoop and he had never heard of such a thing. Too bad, so sad. Follow my post-it or else. Luckily, I was saved by my doctor and he informed the floater to listen to me and my post-its. Of course, the floater started by telling me the first drug with the wrong time. Come on…read the post- its! This just made me go into my super spy mode watching every move and doubting every step. My favorite nurse was maxed out with 6 patients and the other 2 were my least favorite, so the floater was it.

The ants come marching on cupcakes were a big hit even among the patients who could not eat them. They said the cupcake made them smile. One patient did take one and unplugged herself to tell me it was the happiest thing she had seen all week and thanked me about 4 times. I noticed the bouquet of duct tape flowers were still on the counter of the nurses station. They told me these are the best flowers not only because they were made by one of my friends, but they are bright and don’t smell! I was thinking of a magic spell to make the flowers smell just enough to make the chemical plastic smell go away. The anti-nausea meds did not seem to work at all. I started sniffing my IV tubing and thinking that was partially to blame, but the chemical smell was overwhelming. I got the plan or should I say counter plan against this drug eating all my blood cells. I learned my lesson and will not wait until I get the spots which signify major platelet issue.

So, while I was deep sea fishing, I waited for the tumor marker results to come in…they did and I was happy to see that it is going DOWN! Glad to know all the sea sickness and blood issues are all worth it! If I can just do something about the stomach issues that go along with this mess, I would be more comfortable. Oh well…I am still deep sea fishing and hoping that seas will be calm tomorrow. I also hope that sleeping will stop this rocking, but now I have noticed the aches and pains starting-side effect or shot, who knows! I know this will pass and I am thrilled that by next time, I will be in the normal range (according to my doctor) for my tumor marker. I continue to take advantage of every minute that I am feeling better than the rocking boat situation. I made bracelets with my nieces and enjoyed every minute of it until I had to lie down outside, breathe some air, and fall asleep. After the pill kicked in, I enjoyed 2 scenes of Indiana Jones acted out by Alex, Sofia, Max, and Chloe. Chloe had multiple death scenes and was proud of it.  I am still wondering how Chloe who was the Rabbi fit into this Indiana Jones  scene. I must have missed that one!  I managed to eat a salad of all things. Who knows why different things sound good or taste good. I also must say that I am red meat hungry…uh oh, is it the gansta blood or do I need more blood? The finale was the presentation of the art work that the kids did for an early anniversary gift for Grandma and Grandpa. They came out so beautiful thanks to some help from Alex’s art teacher! Now, I am hoping for calm seas all around and really dreaming of going to the San Diego zoo on Sunday. Until then, I will continue to love this June gloom and the sunshine that follows. Hope you are all enjoying your summer! Nothing like the smell of summer. It does have a smell…just try sniffing!



2 Responses to ““You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land, there is no other life but this.” ~Henry David Thoreau”

  1. Yo' sista Says:

    So glad we are here for weeks to come of Indiana Jones and other silly stuff. Hope we can be of some helpmthis month. Glad we are here to fight the gangsta blood with you!

  2. David Haas Says:


    I have a question about your blog. Please email me at davdhaas@gmail.com



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