“Every second counts ’cause there is no second try, so live like you’re never living twice. Don’t take the free ride in your own life.” Chad Robert Kroeger

I have said this before, but this cancer job is definitely lacking in some real vacation time! There is no vacation from this job. Yesterday, I spent my morning getting an MRI of the boobs because I really needed to know that one body part is “safe” or should I say 2 body parts. My only issue became my “track” marks on my arms along with various bruises. After the technician asked me what happened, I gave her the WHOLE story (abridged form) with emphasis on my trifecta which usually is a show stopper. She held my hand and looked very seriously into my eyes and said, “I promise you I will take good care of you.” She spent extra time finding the right vein and it didn’t hurt a bit. She explained about the banging and noise. I thought I was used to it, but somehow the position of lying on your stomach created this sense of movement which almost caused me to be sea sick. I closed my eyes and started to visualize any relaxing beach scene and tried to avoid images of Alex because I would start to cry and then, move and then this whole process would have to start over. She placed headphones on my head with some strange harp, bird caws, synthesized voice screeching noise combined with a visual of little gnomes flying with wings. Okay, what was in this IV? It was only supposed to be contrast. No, I did not taste the metallic taste. It could be possibly that I have no taste or that the only taste I have is metallic. I tried to ignore this whining harp music and avoided the gnome images. I started counting backwards from 100. This was still not working and the banging seemed louder and louder, so I started counting the banging in groups of 20. My thought was that 3 groups of 20 would possibly be a minute. How long could this last? Finally, the bird calls, harp playing ended and so did the MRI. I thanked the technician for the no pain IV. She gave me a giant hug and I thanked her again. I am all about thanking people. Everyone who makes a difference to me, I make the effort to thank. So, I talked to my book fair rep who makes a huge difference in helping our book fair a big success. She has worked forever for Scholastic and takes pride in what she does. I appreciate her efforts. So, I make another effort to complete a comment card for Hoag with all the nurses who made a difference to me and all the other patients including all my wonderful dates of service for my blood tests, blood transfusions.

I have always been about letting people know they are appreciated. In every job since I worked at internships in high school to my career to my volunteering, you have to let people know you appreciate their help. Now, it is more important to me than ever. It is important to tell those who care, those who love you, those random acts of kindness…thanks. I have learned my lesson over and over with this cancer job that if I do not say what I want today either I forget (seriously) or just not have the energy to express what I want to say. My other lesson learned is to not waste my energy on the people who are the EVs or the Debby Downers or just plain ole’ negative. Now, I am not talking about those people who have their priorities messed up as they can provide some entertainment. You know the big issues: going to Nordstrom or getting a pedicure (nothing is wrong with that, but it should not be a crisis or a problem) OR marshmallows versus marshmallow fluff OR Krispy Kreme versus Entenmann’s donuts in a box. I have learned more to laugh at this and would love to give anyone of these crisis creatures an hour in my cancer job with definitely no overtime pay and no double time pay and NO holidays off! They just need a readjustment to value what is real and what is important. It is definitely important to get rid of the dead wood in your life. It floats and that is about it…time for it to go, go, gone.

So, I have to find an outfit for Thursday. I am not prepared mentally or even physically. There will be a new plan which has to be better than the last plan. I reviewed all the list of drugs with Jim and took more notes. I also added to my LOVE list. This was just a random thought list with no order.

LOVE List

1.ALL MY FAMILY

2. talking

3. pencils and pens

4. cooking shows

5. friends old and new

6. baking

7.  connecting with people even strangers

8. Living in So Cal

9. My wedding ring

10. Travels any place

11. Club Med days and stories!

12. All my jobs

13. Art history

14. Shema and Hebrew

15. star gazers and unique rose colors

16. Ocean, Beach

17. Listening to my Dad’s stories

18. Talking to my Mom

19. Hearing laughter

20. Music (except harp playing bird noises!)

REMEMBER, every second counts!

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One Response to ““Every second counts ’cause there is no second try, so live like you’re never living twice. Don’t take the free ride in your own life.” Chad Robert Kroeger”

  1. Kelly Goodman Says:

    I just wanted to tell you I LOVE chatting with you yesterday….Heck, I LOVE you!!!!!!!

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