“I walked across an empty land. I knew the pathway like the back of my hand. I felt the earth beneath my feet, sat by the river and it made me complete.” Keane

My forecast today is partly cloudy with a chance of thunderstorms later this afternoon. My new discovery was the lovely cough caused by acid reflux. Who knew that would happen too?

The visit to the chemo matrix was a very long, long, long, day, BUT the treats of brownies, cookies, and incredible cupcakes lifted the whole mood of the podville! After reviewing the new plan with my doctor, I was in a better frame of mind due to NO steroids! I think I am still feeling the last week steroids-TOO MUCH! Next time, I will get 1/2 as much which is a fabulous idea. Plus, hope to gain control of this nausea. Since I had the meeting with my doctor in the ole’ stinky closet, I had to spread the wealth of the treats which brought so much sunshine to that stinky closet! Off to the matrix, I announced to my doctor that I would take any nurse except the one that yelled across the room last time that the slow drip doesn’t matter and flush doesn’t matter. No thank you! After having my weight taken, only down a pound, the nurse noticed my trick. “Hey, you are wearing jeans and a lot of clothing, you cannot fool me!” So, I tried my trick, but it failed. Overall, they were happy that I did not lose too much weight, but I have to focus on eating anything and everything I can. The atmosphere of the matrix was filled with the grey bald sad faced women who looked like the pod sucked every hope from them. I focused on my treats and started to hand them out like Oprah does to her audience saying, “you win and you win”. Only it wasn’t a trip t Australia or a new car, it was brownies, beautiful flower cupcakes, and cookies. Well, they acted like I was giving them a trip to Maui! Gradually, the grey bald sad faced women started to grin. How can you not smile if you saw these marshmallow petal flower cupcakes? Of course, they joked that I made them, but I told them I have great friends who are very talented and wanted to thank them for all they do for me. Nurses from the stinky closet were coming by and nurses were coming out of nowhere to talk about the treats. It is amazing how a small gesture can go such a long way.

I picked my favorite pod almost close enough to the bathroom and with a great view of tree tops! While waiting for blood to be taken, the older couple next to me was screaming back and forth with misunderstandings on both sides. We heard something similar in Jamaica once when an older man was yelling at his wife, “did you put the breakfast order in?” and she responded, “it is 8 o’clock”. It was like this for a while, but the discussion was focused on the drugs and the time, but responded with “are you hungry”. Unfortunately, her next comment was, “I peed in my pants”. I did not know what to do, but she resolved the situation by wrapping a blanket around herself and decided that was good enough.  I told Jim to remind me to not sit at that pod! My blood was taken and results of only the WBC and RBC came back which both SUCKED! It was too much of a jump for one week, but the WBC would be resolved with the lovely neulasta shot. I decided that if I need a transfusion, it is fine and should not worry that they would give me cow blood by mistake. They took the tumor marker, but I had to do a special handshake to promise that whatever the number is that I need to try 2 cycles of this combination to see if it will work. I did the shake, plus a little dance with my IV and agreed.

I was excited to see my cousin Margie and her sister, Cindy who helped passed the time by some good ole’ ipad apps recommendations and demonstration.  I also proceeded to have a continual bloody nose while getting my infusion. Damn those platelets! Also, damn those nose hairs, first to come, first to leave! Welcome to the dry skin phase!  After they left and Jim came back, I did chat with a woman who has breast cancer and was very funny. She explained her medical situation and then, my cloudiness started. I told Jim she had breast cancer metastasized in her scrotum. Jim said she did not look like Chaz Bono, so am I confused? Of course, I did not realize that I said scrotum. Who knows what I thought I said?! This is always entertaining like menstruation instead of administration or defecation instead of defamation. We left just in time for the 5pm traffic. It was so bad that it took over 3 hours to get home. I had passed out for part of it, so poor Jim had to deal with it!

Yesterday, I did the sleeping beauty routine or what I now call the old lady syndrome which you fall asleep in mid sentence anyplace, any time, sitting up or reclining. I did make it to Alex’s school for pick up, but I hid in the office not wanting any emotional vampires to suck anything from me including my blood! Then, back home to the VIP insurance calls checking on me to see if I was ready to jump out the window. I told the woman that I was looking forward to a cool summer without much hair and no shaving the legs!  She determined I was not needing any further escalation. Then, the nurse called to check on my status. She was helpful with her explanations, but it required too much energy and effort to show her that I needed this new treatment plus all the anti nausea meds etc….I finally finished that call with a doze off for 20 minutes.

Today, as I said partly cloudy with a chance of storms. I must go to the sleep zone again. I feel all the sunshine from all of you with your cards, texts, emails, treats, and virtual hugs! Have a lovely weekend! I hope to emerge out of the fog and start my weeks of FREEDOM!

 

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5 Responses to ““I walked across an empty land. I knew the pathway like the back of my hand. I felt the earth beneath my feet, sat by the river and it made me complete.” Keane”

  1. margie Says:

    The cupcakes were adorable!!!! Keep feeling better over the next few weeks!

    Love,
    Margie

  2. Audrey Says:

    Joanie I was sitting here catching up on your blog. Wanted to see how you were feeling. I think about you often and hope that you start to feel better from your treatments in the next weeks. You have such courage and your fight inspires me. Love, Audrey

  3. Tami Says:

    Ok Joanie, it has taken me 9 days to come out of a post surgery fog from the general anesthesia and demerol and oxycondone and vicodin…whew, and even after taking all that, I was still complaining about pain. I am such a wuss. =). You are going to beat this!! We are all sending our love and positive energy waves through the universe for you. Love, Tami

  4. Kelli Moore Says:

    When I read your scrotum comment, I burst out laughing, which wasn’t the best thing, since there was a class in the library quietly doing research! 🙂 You go girl!! You are my hero!!
    Love,
    Kelli

  5. Pendar Says:

    I am sending you hugs and prayers…you are a blessing to all of us. love, Pendar

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