“And so you’re back from outer space. I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face…I will survive.” Gloria Gaynor

The vote is in, the tribe has spoken, or survey says, it is back.  It might have been from outer space. Finally, an explanation for the alien baby. It started with a brief email from one of my doctors to call him. So, I called and he was scrubbing into a surgery while the nurse was holding the phone. All I could think of is the “oops, I lost you, can you hear me now” and phone drops into a woman’s abdominal cavity. He told me he would call me back. I did have a conversation with a nurse who explained that my case is at the top of the list (or was she just telling me that), so I had to do a little fake cry or whine. How would you feel if you had cancer and thought it was gone a month ago only to be told it came back? This was said in a very whining almost crying voice. She confirmed that my treatment is going to change. Where is the magic blue pill? I would like that treatment now. Instead, Jim and I read the foundation report where the bar chart showed my specialness as a full fledge outlier club member.  We had a conversation for an hour discussing this report and the options or drug options that could hit these microscopic cells and make them never want to come back. It all sounded good to me until the side effects of these drugs hit me. Of course, no one mentioned hair because either hair doesn’t matter (especially to those who have hair) or because all the rest are more important.  I will do what I have to do, but doesn’t meant that I am not pissed off! So, don’t mess with me people of the parking lot at school. If you decide to cross my path, I may actually get out of my car and have a fit. My day could not be complete without a delightful email of Alex’s behavior in the classroom. He was disrespectful, disruptive, negative, inappropriate and any other lovely action that is completely the opposite of how he rolls normally. Did someone say this is normal? Where is that magic blue pill? Is there a child dose that works for cancer causing family behavior out of the norm? One day at a time. All reports were sent. All calls were done. My fan club meets on Friday. My only choice is to go into the classroom and watch my disruptive son at “work”. Give me strength for tomorrow. My boys are breaking and there are not enough band aids in the house to heal this hurt. I feel like I want to apologize to my family and friends. I know this is not easy for you. I will win this race, but there will be a few more bumps in the road.


4 Responses to ““And so you’re back from outer space. I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face…I will survive.” Gloria Gaynor”

  1. amy Says:

    My dear Joanie, You are one courageous woman. Your family is in my thoughts. Love you, Amy

  2. Linda Says:

    Sending you huge hugs, lots of strength and love- you’re a strong woman. Keep fighting.

  3. Kelly Goodman Says:

    My dearest friend Joanie…. I LOVE YOU!!!!!! I have some extra band-aids. I’m here for you…..
    “You got a friend” Carol King & Kelly

  4. Jen Says:

    You are an inspiration to us all. You never accept status quo and are always fighting….for recovery, for family, for friends, for principles. Alex is just like his mom….if he was unruly I am positive the teacher deserved it. Kisses to you and yours.

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