“It’s all about popular. It’s not about aptitude, it’s the way you’re viewed, so it’s very shrewd to be, very very popular like ME!” Wicked/Stephen Schwartz

My trifecta could be a broadway play, but I am not sure of the title. At the moment, the song, Popular from Wicked seems to work with this week phase of the trifecta. I know you will be surprised to hear the latest and greatest news flash of my ever rising tumor marker taken on Thursday. Up, up, up it goes… It all seems a bit mysterious since my last scan was clear and clear, but now things to be appearing cloudy and confused. Instead of Jim working his real job, he was on assignment of project manager of crazy cancer. While the calls came this morning to schedule my stat MRI, he was simultaneously either talking to another doctor on the phone, faxing reports, and responding to emails. Luckily, I decided not to eat anything since I was too busy and I could not eat before the scan. We continued at this crazy pace trying to get everything lined up. When you are so popular and have such a big team, it requires a lot of coordination and some major communication. I was sending texts and emails while Jim was driving me to the scan in Newport. The imaging center was calling us with questions while we were on our way. I thought I would have a bit of a break while getting my scan (strange thought, right?).

Of course, this scan required contrast which I asked the technician if this is the one where you feel like you will pee in your pants. He said, “no, if you feel like you peed in your pants with this contrast, you definitely peed in your pants.” He had done an MRI for me way back when and explained that we need to be a team for the “breathe, don’t breathe” phase of the MRI. After my 101 questions, he answered all of them and explained every detail. I did the ole’ “if this was you, what would you do or if this was your wife or in your experience, have you seen…” You know he cannot tell me anything about my scan, but he did answer all my general questions and even asked the radiologist some of my questions. All I can say is that I prefer to be radioactive from a PET scan as I told him that at least I can make my grocery list or do other things while in a confined space instead of just holding my breath. I also did inform him that gnomes work in the radiology department at UCLA and he would be considered a giant.

We barely left the building and “stat” was more than “stat”. We had our results that there wasn’t any significant tumors or nodules.  I felt a bit relieved that I was not growing another alien. While I was in my scan, the foundation that UCLA sent my tissues (the ones that were not missing) had completed their report. It might as well have been in another language. Jim and I looked at the 14 page report and just looked at each other hoping that it did not look as foreign as it did. Instead, we called my doctor who talked to us for a long time. He explained the rise of my tumor marker would most likely indicate a microscopic growth. I do prefer microscopic cancer rather than gargantuan cancer. He said that the team will meet on Friday with a plan and I will go to UCLA on Monday. Luckily, there is no urgency on the PET scan as I do not think I can do a no food or carb free day at this moment. We discussed all the new drugs out there and we will just have wait for the plan. So, since there is nothing I can do, I can just do what I do. Live in the now and make the most of every moment. I definitely need to avoid all emotional vampires as I am on the precipice of using physical force (well, not really, but I can think about it). I can honestly say that I am surprised, frustrated, and annoyed, but this will all pass.  I will do whatever it takes and that is just it!

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2 Responses to ““It’s all about popular. It’s not about aptitude, it’s the way you’re viewed, so it’s very shrewd to be, very very popular like ME!” Wicked/Stephen Schwartz”

  1. margie Says:

    Yes you will!!! Sending you lots of love and hugs!

    Margie

  2. Leah Says:

    thinking of you my friend, esp. since you mentioned Wicked. I remember when we went to LA and I go sooo car sick and then had to sit at the restaurant with sushi being passed in front of me screaming at the waiter for plain rice!! That was a fun outing.
    Your strength is amazing!
    xoxoxo: )

    Leah

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