“When you stop feeding and supporting cancer, it can, and sometimes will, collapse. You may wake up one morning and realize that it has been minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, or year since you thought about it. You are in control again.” Kriss Carr

I do feel in control and I can honestly say that I am on the hours without thinking about cancer. This past week, I have been using every minute as if I will be so drug induced next week that I will be unable to do a thing. I know this is not the case, but I like to plan ahead. I managed to walk Alex to school which was more fun for me than for him (he barely knew I was walking down the hill). I even managed to walk up the hill even though it took me longer than it should, but I did it!  I planned meals and made lists. These lists came from inspiration from the Crazy Sexy Cancer Survivor: More Rebellion and Fire for your Healing Journey. I will share these lists on my blog, but now I am not in the “mode”. I think this week has been for me a week for reflection as last year I was having surgery before my birthday and on my birthday there is a lovely photo of myself in the hospital bed. I still ask Jim why he took the photo, but he tells me that I told him to do it. (I am sure I did!) I cannot believe a year has passed! I am not sure if it feels longer or shorter, but it just feels strange.  I have had my tearful moments this week, but more for appreciation of family and friends and less for the situation. It is amazing how many beautiful things we notice, when we take the time to look. This has been my week. I took more time talking with friends, calling old friends, being with friends who I don’t see often enough, and listened. I listened to the sounds outside and listened to Alex. What I didn’t listen to was the messages of my body, so I collapsed each night before Jim came to sleep or while Jim was talking (oops!). This has been the first time that I did not feel the burden of the drugs so much (or I choose to ignore most of the symptoms) and I wasn’t consumed by the “job of managing my cancer’.  What I could have done without is the unleavened bread! I did enjoy the 2 Passover dinners we had with our family (just Jim and Alex) and with another family. It made for some good laughs and a lot of entertainment especially watching the kids do a song and dance routine.

On another note, Alex had quite a week. It was filled with more ups than “downs”, but it was a crazy ride. Alex is on a military committee (support the military) for PAL (peer assisted leaders) and he has taken this “job” seriously. He has done research and made lists (which we had to enable his printer on his computer to print). The only thing was that his committee quit after he showed them what his “plans” were (sounds familiar!). He decided to present his ideas to the PTA and bribed his friend if he came that he would miss class. He did a great job and the Principal was so impressed that he asked to meet with Alex to add more ideas. So, one day I picked up Alex and he said, “Mom, I am exhausted. I had to make 4 presentations to teachers, students, and the Principal!”. He managed to get support from everyone and he was told he would get a committee somehow. At the Friday flag ceremony, the Principal announced Alex Triestman and his Military Appreciation Month of May ideas. Alex was so excited even though he said he thought that no one heard. Well, I heard it and I could not be prouder. We all are so proud of him. I know I could not do this type of thing in Elementary school. Of course, one of his teachers told me, “you just weren’t given the opportunity”.  On Alex’s “down” moments, he addressed his ongoing concern for not being called when he raises his hand. For the past 11 days, Alex has kept post its with tally marks for each class including music, social studies, and art. He presented his homeroom tally for 11 days. He was only called on 3 times versus 25 times in math. Evidence works great! What a great idea!! I told him to solve his own problem and he did!

So, it was a good week. Since next week is my birthday week festivities, I will have to plan ahead for my closet outfit and also have to review those lovely reports. This way, I will be prepared to get back “in the race”.  Have a wonderful Easter for all those who celebrate and Happy Passover! (it is almost over-yipee!) Remember, take time to notice the beautiful “things”!

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