“And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.” Dr Seuss

To un-slump the slump, this is my focus today. I almost have it, but not without a lot of effort. I blame it on the drugs, again. I was wondering why I called someone “Ion” instead of “Ian” and said someone was from Hebrew instead of Israel. Things were a bit blurry today as I am preparing for my visit to the closet. Unfortunately, my doctor is in Europe now, so I am almost “on my own” as far as the doctor situation as he is the one who is more comforting and hand holding. I do have my cousin hand holder and entertainer who will help pass the time. The real issue is whether my face is plastered with an arrow in the staff area OR will I get upgraded? (I doubt I could get downgraded as there isn’t another place worse at this point.) I was thinking of putting a sharpie note on the inside of both my arms like they do before surgery with “slow drip equals 45 minutes per drug”, but it may be a bit too much. I don’t even have an outfit ready as the weather has been so strange from hot to cold to almost rain. I was enjoying my drug free moments so much the past few days visiting San Diego that I forgot how it felt. It was so great to be so removed from the routine of my treatment that the drugged feeling threw me for a loop as if I never had this feeling.

After enjoying the best trip to San Diego ever, I am pouting just a little bit. Back to my treatment job of phoning, following up and down, sending emails, sending my lab reports and scans with various doctors, and the fun of the bills. I do enjoy the phone calls from the insurance who check on me every 3 weeks to see if I am ready to jump or be locked up in a loony bin. I give the usual answer that all is working great and I am feeling great. I have never felt better (enjoying toxins in my bloodstream every 3 weeks is a pleasurable activity).  One wrong answer escalates me to DEFCON 1 and the calls start flowing from the “VIP services” which really means Volatile In(toxicated) Patient. I don’t have time for that, so I carefully choose my words: fine, great, excellent, healthy, minimum side effects, well-rested, calm, and calm and relaxed.  I am also working on the tumor profiling analysis which my doctor responded via email from Europe saying that this is a great thing to do before the samples are not viable. Now, I should drink to the treasure hunt of finding my samples. I will have to call on Friday hoping that I am not so “intoxicated”.

I will NOT be thinking of the non Passover items that Alex is hoping to clear out this weekend (remember I need my carbs and matzo does not count) and just focus on tomorrow. Instead of sharpie, I think I will place a post it note on my sweater saying, “if found, please provide a slow drip and return to Jim Triestman”.  I will continue with my “un-slumping phase” before I go to bed.

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