Struck a nerve Part Deux (2)

You know that song, “blame it on the a a a a alcohol…”? My song is called, blame it on the drugs (that is my excuse for now).  Yesterday, while waiting for Alex at his piano lesson, I decided to open the mail. My new routine is to let it sit on the counter until I feel that the pile is going to tip over. Lo’ and behold was a survey from UCLA for the “closet”. So, I thought about it overnight. Should I let it go or continue the saga of “you struck a nerve”? The letter said it would be of ENORMOUS help to our future patients. I am not sure what pushed me over the tipping point. It could have been that  a hacker got my credit card number or as the credit card company said, “data security breach” or was it the fact that I forgot to change my patch (another medication in the list) or was it the fact the travel agent decided to reserve a lovely suite on my cruise of a lifetime next to the elevator near the SMOKING casino. Yes, just what I want to do after finishing 18 glorious months of treatment, inhale some cigarette smoke on a daily basis while enjoying the sounds of the binging elevator on the Mediterranean! It could have been the fact that Alex decided to become Kosher for a week, so he could get closer to God? All week long I heard him tell me, “I can’t eat that Mom, it isn’t Kosher”. What? Okay, thank goodness for Trader Joe’s bounty of Kosher products. Did you know Dippin Dots were Kosher? Who knew?

It could have been the fact that my frozen body parts are not viable after April 22nd and I need to have my molecular profile done before they expire! I don’t plan on having any other body parts removed for a while, so this is my only chance. Today, I received the email stating that they are waiting for the pathology to send my specimen! If my scan was any indication of the lost and found situation, then I am in trouble as parts are still missing according to UCLA.

Well, after my day I just decided to fill out the survey and did notice that you could not include any extra papers. I added the information from my numerous emails and added quotes from different sources regarding the chair disposal. Yes, I had to mention that they were going to dispose of these old somewhat broken chairs when the new million dollar clinic opened. Doesn’t a cancer patient being treated today deserve a nice new chair?  While I do appreciate the new lamp, new toilet key with bright new bucket attachment, and anti bacterial soap dispensers, I still cannot get over the chair issues. These chairs are mostly non working and definitely not comfortable. There is hardly ever a time when all guests can have their one guest (following the rule of one guest per one patient). So, some newbies have to handle the situation alone unless they have a warrior like my cousin Margie who will stand for hours. She does do some great impressions from Saturday Live shows, so she is the free entertainment similar to the other cancer centers across the U.S., but she is not getting paid and she does not play an instrument. I know she would sing or play an instrument, if we wanted that type of entertainment. The audience barely smiles in the closet and we all know why! I couldn’t let it go. I filled in the survey and all the extra lines, plus gave my phone number and name-OH NO! Jim was on the phone, so I just decided to go for it and put it in the mail. When he was off the phone, I told him about the survey and what I had written. He had this “uh oh” face, so I ran to get the letter that came with the survey which said it was confidential and private. Of course, he had to tell me, “they will know it is you!”. He asked me, “love, where is the survey?”  I did this Saturday Night Live impression of that character Gilly with that strange smile. I told him, “it’s gone and the mailman took it”. Could I blame my mail carrier? Oops! So, I am claiming it is the drugs or the rash or the real truth about my hair or missing hair that pushed me over the edge.

Speaking of my hair, I asked Alex and Jim what they thought of the growth. Jim said it looks fine, but Alex said “no way, mom, you have to wear the wig. IT IS NOT GOOD!” At Alex’s age, I really believe him. I don’t want to look just fine even though I know my husband loves petting my soft baby hair and has told me how beautiful and great I look. I think I will wait for the patches to grow in. April showers brings May flowers and could bring some new hair growth for me. Until then, we are going to Antarctica for Spring Break. This morning, I told Alex to look for his gloves, hat, ski coat, and boots. He looked at me with a concerned look, but I told him he will need it for our trip this weekend. He asked me if we were still going to San Diego. I told him, nope, we are going to Antarctica-APRIL FOOLS! Yes, this is the new me and I haven’t even packed or thought about what to pack! It is only for the weekend. Then, back to the closet for me. I hope there isn’t a photo of me with some darts on it or a “wanted poster with my face”. I am not sure if any cookies will help this cause. Maybe, the internet will work in the closet OR maybe Margie will be able to sit down? Stay tuned for what happens next week in the closet. Until then, enjoy April. I know I will since I am clear, clear, and clear with some added body parts messed up due to treatment, but who is counting?


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