Oops I did it again…

Who knew I was so foggy until the fog cleared? I guess I shouldn’t have been driving even down the hill to school. Glad I didn’t drive into the exit at school or double park (like the other non drug induced parents) or just block traffic in my delirium. It is the strangest feeling not knowing you are so cloudy until the fog lifts. I am glad I hadn’t done much texting and super glad that I composed a letter, but did not send it. I did send my first letter to the director after my 10 calls of who knows what I said to whom about what or where?! He responded and then, THE RESPONSE came which sent me either to more of a fog or just so angry I couldn’t see straight, but I waited until Jim looked at my letter, added some technical “speak” and sent it tonight. I guess a million dollar clinic is arriving in 90 days, but until then too bad, so sad for all these cancer patients. The best is that they are disposing the chairs in the closet when they move. So, I guess it is fine for disposable chairs for the disposable cancer patients to sit in broken chairs for 90 days. Oh yes, I couldn’t let the comments go without a letter back, so I revised and revised. Ironically,it was the week of the 4th grade state writing test and I was creating a drug influenced 4th grade response. Topic sentence, check. Sensory details, just enough and removed some of lovely figurative language which provided me some entertainment. I know most likely nothing will end up happening, but I know I tried. I tried for myself and for all those grey faced, sad eyed, cancer patients. I know when I had my full blown 9 hour dose, I could not compose a letter or even speak for myself. Writing a letter takes time especially when you have to take your emotions out of the situation and try desperately to make the wheels turn before 90 days as some patients don’t have 90 days. I guess it was my last treatment that put me over the edge. Just when you let your guard down, a mistake happens and I lost days hibernating. I guess it is better than hallucinating.  So, as I fill in the blank spots of my eyebrows, still wishing for some nose hairs, watching my hair grow in strangely, I know that I did the best I could for all cancer patients in the closet. Damn it, I am going to make the most of these days. Sunshine days and clear skies ahead!

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