“When cancer patients voice a problem or concern, you are mistaken if you think that we always want you to try to cheer us up…Sometimes we just need to voice our frustration at the viciousness of the disease.” Vickie Girard

Lately, for those who are not “over” the cancer as much as I am over “it”, you are asking what you can do or how you can help me. I really appreciate your expressing this to me. The thought means more than an action. All I can say is if I am asking for help that I am most likely beyond the point of asking for help, so I really am not gently asking, but silently screaming for help. This is the way I roll which is neither good nor bad. I do wish I could click my heals together for the days of my old self, but I have had to accept the new me with all that it comes with including the always perfect hair day.  I wish I had an easy answer. I can tell you that I appreciate all your support, your calls, your notes, your emails, your words of encouragement, your jokes, your stories, and just your every day tales. If you think I should ask Joanie what she thinks or talk to her about it, do it! Don’t be afraid to tell me about what is bugging you because most often it is bugging me too! Don’t get me started about Alex’s substitute from another planet who could not read (seriously) or multiply (honest). She was sent home by the Principal, but not before some very entertaining looks and comments from the students. It was Alex’s “worse day of his life”. Now, that makes me happy!  Children are resilient.

I have accepted the new me (almost), but I miss all of you. My all consuming cancer care has given me less of the “me time” that I truly enjoy and want.  My “me time” is really “you time” as I enjoy being with all of you and talking with you. Vickie Girard says, “Those of you who love us-please , never be afraid of our tears that you won’t let us cry with you. For if you never see us cry, believe me it doesn’t mean we aren’t crying. It only means we’re doing it alone.”  I can honestly say that I haven’t been doing a lot of crying. What means the most is that I know I am not alone, but I can tell you without a doubt that cancer SUCKS! It does! No doubt about it. Wishing myself a good night sleep and possibly sleeping in?

 

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2 Responses to ““When cancer patients voice a problem or concern, you are mistaken if you think that we always want you to try to cheer us up…Sometimes we just need to voice our frustration at the viciousness of the disease.” Vickie Girard”

  1. Gail Rosiak Says:

    Joanie=

    We all get so wrapped up it our on little worlds and I read your blogs and get blown away by your courage and want you to know I am here for you. You are right we don’t know what to do or say. I want to help but I don’t want to intrude. You are always in my thoughts and prayers.
    PLEASE let me know what I can do. Dinner, lunch, a ride ,movie, books( of course,like all jewish mothers I think of food first).
    You are an inspiration and you make me a better person. When this is all over you need to publish your blogs in a book to inspire many more. You have a wonderful talent for writing and it needs to be shared with others.
    Don’t forget if you need something just call—643-2046 (new #)
    Love you,
    Gail

  2. joantri Says:

    Thanks Gail! Luckily you educated me on what body part the kishka is…important info when I thought it was a male body part!

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