“Don’t measure yourself by what you have accomplished, but by what you should have accomplished with your ability.” John Wooden

While focusing for a brief minute on the fact that I lost a week and did not exercise very much except for to walk up and down the stairs, I opened by bottle of green tea to see this quote.  Based on this quote and my ability today, I am better than good. Again I remind myself about what I can do today and not what I used to do. I focus on the today especially since today is the “wash” the wig day. I have to have clean wig hair and I don’t want to risk cleaning it myself as I foresee about a good 5 months more with my friend the wig. I should come up with a name for it. Possibly a Brazilian name since many people who don’t know me ask if I had the Brazilian blow out  since they knew me with curly hair in my before cancer life. Friends, the forecast for my hair seems more straight than curly and definitely a different texture almost like baby hair or as Jim says, “super soft” as he pats my head. It has a new feel and we will stay tuned to what develops.  Back to today, I spent some time in the outdoors at Alex’s school with students at recess in a great new program called Lunch buddies (outdoors with the students is much “safer” than the indoor germ-o-rama). Of course, Alex pretended he did not know me and continued to play handball with his friends. For those couple of hours, I completely forgot about all my ailments and focused on those kids. Listening to their stories and seeing them play, I felt so thankful to be in the sunshine (sorry all you winter people), but it was warm. Of course, the teachers had to tell me to get in the shade when they walked by and told me that I should be wearing a hat. I love that they care about me as if I am one of their students. The sun felt so great and I did not want to get into the issue of “this hair is not the hat hair and the hat hair squeezes my brain”.  What was even better was seeing the importance of this new Lunch buddy program and seeing many students from Kindergarten to 5th grade  hang out in Savannah’s garden. I was overcome with emotion, but it was all good. My favorite was watching ten 5th graders play Hullabaloo, the musical game where the winner had to do a funky dance. They all insisted upon showing me their “funky” dance. The image kept me smiling the rest of the day.

I had to come home to the 4 automated calls to remind me of my appointment on Monday at UCLA as if I could forget. Yes, it will be a love fest or should I say, “test fest”. This is the every 3 months, do a little dance, make a little love, give a little blood, get down tonight (literally). I am bringing my doctor a heart shape box of Hershey’s hugs and kisses because he deserves it. Of course, he will probably have me hug him with no clothes on except that paper “napkin” blanket thing because I guess it just doesn’t matter to him? Next time, I am in the closet I am going ask his other patients if he does the same thing to them. Maybe, I will get even more special treatment since it is Valentine’s Day? You would think the people who work at UCLA would be with it, but these are the same people after my surgery bloated with fluid while taking blood for a cancer blood test asked me how far along I was. Anything is possible. I am still waiting for them to call out “hello” while doing my gynecological exam only to hear an echo back, “hello, hello, helloooooo” since everything was taken during my surgery. I also really enjoy a good audience while doing the ultrasound in a dark room. They usually read my history and do a big harmonious sigh of “uh, oh, uh, and sorry”. I don’t know if they are apologizing for the harmony or just don’t know what to say. It is good to know that doctors in training are still in training and don’t know what to say at the most awkward of times. They have to be better than my favorite comments from people who say, “oh I had a friend, aunt, cousin who died” which is so good to know.

As I turn my corner to my “I feel good, I know that I should” phase, I will get outside this weekend. I am hoping to go to the beach. As much as Alex wants to go biking, I will ignore the bikes in the garage as that will just bring about a whole new hair crisis especially with the hair without a hat being cleaned and the hat hair could possibly blow off while biking. I just cannot take the risk. Instead, I will play it safe and get ready for the love fest both for Alex, Jim, and UCLA. Until then, hoping sunshine gets to other states besides California.

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One Response to ““Don’t measure yourself by what you have accomplished, but by what you should have accomplished with your ability.” John Wooden”

  1. amy Says:

    Hi Joanie, I am thinking about you everyday. It was great running into you at Bagels and Brew last week. I wish I could have hung out, but I was rushing off to Beth El to set up art. First, I thought of a great Brazilian name for your hair. “Giselle” as in Victoria Secret model fame. Next, I just wanted to tell you how much your blogging has inspired me. I can’t help but enjoy your smart, sarcastic humor. Enjoy this beautiful weekend with your men and have a glorious Valentines Day!

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