Cancer for dummies? Who knew!

I guess I never thought to look for books in the “Dummie” series on cancer. There should really be a book stating you cannot be dumb and have cancer or cancer isn’t for dummies. Between the shots, pills, appointments, coordinating doctors, you almost have to make this a job which I would rather not. This book, “Life Over Cancer” wants you to set up team leads for each specialized area. Who wants to do that? Oh, “hi friend, could you handle all my medicines, blood tests, insurance issues?” It sure is a “fun” job paying nothing with little benefit, but ongoing frustration. For my job descriptions, it would list the duration of the job is for almost 2 years.I am sure that would get a lot of takers.  So, back to reality and I will attempt to focus on this as much as I feel is necessary. I cannot consume myself with all the details, but just the important ones. I guess this is my way of living with this situation. Unfortunately, I make mistakes along the way and forget the reality and live in my dream world.  When the reality smacks me in the face, it hurts. I hate to give in, I hate to admit that I am being treated for stage IV trifecta cancers.

This leads me to my recent reality of having 3 appointments at UCLA in February which starts next week. This also brings me to my hair reality, no not the musical which we are seeing tonight. My hair is growing back, but there are still blank patches. I am thrilled to have eyelashes and eyebrows. I still need the wig because I don’t want to look like a person with cancer and I don’t want to see myself as a person with cancer. So, I continue with my own reality. I am often thinking of the closet as the time gets nearer and wonder if other countries have chemo closets. All the more reason to travel the world and find out. Of course, my travels should focus on countries that have indoor plumbing, good food, and good shopping.  I also am thinking of bringing a 4-pack to the closet next week. No, not of beer, but of Charmin. When I saw the Lysol auto soap dispenser at Costco, I was thinking of that being a Valentine’s gift for the closet. I know I should stick with candy, so I can get the upgrade to the overflow closet.  Also, since my bruising just disappeared from my last treatment, I am definitely going with the “say no” to my last nurse.  All in all the month of January flew by, so I am happy to have more treatments down and less to go, but I am still over it.  I cannot help myself. I wrote a letter to my old gynecologist who did not make any errors except that she did not listen to me and she could have done better.  Jim said that sadly my letter will only make her think of the possibility of a lawsuit, but I wanted to tell her how I felt especially since I have friends still under her care. I also go with the motto that if it makes me feel better and doesn’t really hurt anyone, then go for it. I wrote it for the reason that I want her to want to be a better doctor and take the extra five minutes. I  wanted to remind her about what happened. I cannot make her care more, but possibly it would make her think and even if it is about a potential lawsuit, she is thinking.  As for me, I will do more thinking and more taking time for connecting with friends. I will do less of my cancer job. The job posting is still open and I prefer to live my life and continue to make mistakes along the way. Happy February!


One Response to “Cancer for dummies? Who knew!”

  1. Kelli Says:

    As always, I enjoyed this post. And I say good for you, for writing that letter. I am sure many Drs need to listen more and prescribe to cover symptoms much less!
    Not sure if you are comfortable doing it or if it’s appropriate, but I am sure many of us would love to read that letter and probably benefit from it!

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