“Success is sometimes just getting out of bed. Success is sometimes staying in bed. Success is surviving; you are surviving; you are a success.” Vickie Girard

Today, I am a combination of getting out of bed just to take Alex to school and going back to bed. So, I am double the fun of success! Oh, yesterday was chemo closet gone crazy. Thankfully, Margie was there and brought her sunshine, smile, and laughter because I was like a flickering candle on the brink of being blown out! Unfortunately, the other upgrade room was not available,and I should have known when I had to carry my own urine cup in a baggie that something was strange. I put it in my large bag since it was glowing yellow.  The waiting room was filled and showed no signs of improved decor,and I did meet a woman in her late 50’s who had 2 of the cancers I have and also stage IV. She is small like me and told me that this office has the best doctors as she has been coming for 20 years. Her comment was if I am still around, you will be around for a long time too. She also had to yell about how gorgeous my hair is and said repeatedly, “cannot believe that is a wig and you look beautiful.” Not sure if this set the tone for the strange vibes that came later with the many bald headed grey faced women. She also told me she eats 1lb of dark chocolate a day. I almost had a poop attack on the spot thinking about that much chocolate.

I was greeted by a nurse that I never saw before who put me in a room, so the doctor could see me. I am not sure if my anxiousness caused my blood pressure to sky rocket, but I had little hope of going to the other room. There is one closet visitor that my cousin, mom, and I have met numerous times and try to avoid her if possible. She is not the person you want to spend hours next to almost holding her hand or mine?! While waiting for a chair (bad sign), my nurse (new) wanted to start my IV. I asked her about the drip (slow drip for me) and the amount. Oops, here we go again…after some back and forth, we got it right. Lo’ and behold a chair is available. I actually had a choice which luckily Margie had her telepathic powers going and placed me in the middle facing the nurse station instead of the corner next to the the closet visitor I wanted to avoid. My favorite nurses came over and asked if they could tell their patients that my hair was a wig and if they could tell them about my trifecta and stage IV. Of course, I said yes since I know my “story” will make anyone else with cancer feel better. They also said, “you always come with a smile, so we want to give them hope”. I looked around at the many grey faces and asked if there are a lot of newbies and they both said almost the whole room. Not sure if this was the problem or my discovery of my not so friendly nurse was the issue, but the doctors were running (seriously running) and one usually does not run at all for anyone. It was a strange sight that even my river dance with boots would not help. Margie and I tried to look at my machine since I was convinced that the flow was too fast as I was way too nauseous and a bit dizzy. That has not happened for a long time. With no chairs left and standing room only, I had to use the restroom. While Margie was picking up trash, I decided to get more toilet paper. Yes, we made ourselves at home in hopes that it would help. That closet is toxic all the way around. I asked for my blood work results 4 times until my doctor finally got them for me. When we again tried to see the flow, she said it was fine, but I think I figured out later based on the time I got done that she cut 10 minutes off each drug making it just slightly faster. Slightly faster is not good. Margie and I proceeded to laugh and do our own private eye rolls. The worse was when we witnessed our favorite nurse put her back out to help a patient and then, try to help me, but my nurse barked at her. Very strange scene. With the changing of the chairs, the new patient told me that she had to wait 2 hours. Her appointment was at 9:30am. Thank goodness I had made mine earlier now or I would have been home by 8pm. No music but constant beeps from the IV machines, no sunlight, no air, and I just wanted out of there. I even had to eat something in the chair since I thought it may help.  All in all, it wasn’t the worst of times or the best of times. I did get my blood work which I looked at in the car. All the numbers are a bit messed up.

When I got home, I was wiped out and ate little food and took by blood results with my ipad to do some research. Hmmm, it looks like I have a UTI, but no one noticed. The more I thought about the pain I had been having, I thought that I have a UTI. So, instead of sleeping, I drank 4 glasses of water and attempted to sleep on and off. This morning, I saw my internist who said most of my blood counts were to be expected with my treatment and yes, I do have a UTI. So, back in bed I go until this afternoon.

Hope to enjoy the sunshine this weekend! Hopefully, for all you winter people, there is some sunshine with that snow!



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