“We should stop and revel in the time that we have right now, instead of wishing it away.” Vickie Girard

Yes, easier said than done when it comes to nausea. On a very very positive note, I was “upgraded” to the overflow suite next door. I know it was because the other closet had no seats, but I am thinking my wine gifts for pre-Christmas last time may have helped. This closet had space (no holding the hand of the next patient), windows all around instead of 3, and best of all MUSIC! It also seemed to have more oxygen and less smell most likely due to the lack of the crowd. The bathroom was even clean(er), not great but improved. The best Christmas gift ever was being informed that the closet is moving in February! I had one of my favorite nurses and the other nurses told me that they actually are giving input to the design, colors, and even wide screen with relaxing images. The only negative that they said was that even though there are more windows, the view is of the hospital. They also advised me that I should call the number on my survey to add more of my input. It only took 3 surveys to push this along with conversations among fellow closet visitors. Yipee!

As far as my treatment, again they almost gave me double the dosage and luckily they do show you before they start. My CA125 is the lowest it has ever been-12! Of course, my platelets are still low, but the nurses think my body can recover itself. The nurses and my doctors advised me when I have the fatigue that is more than normal, I need to rest my body. Hmmm, I know I will listen. My doctor mentioned that my next PET scan should be February or beginning of March because yes, I am reminded of the high probability of recurrence. There are always upcoming developments and research including a vaccine for people who have a recurrence, but I am looking at this information more for a proactive approach and less from their statistics since I know I am not a statistic.

Visiting this new closet was better, but still reminds me of all those who are facing this fight. One mother and daughter came in. The mother was a new patient having already started chemo at another facility. They both appeared nervous and the daughter had that look that my family had of grave concern, love, and not knowing what to say or what to do except that she looked pretty pale. Even the nurses asked her if she was alright. While my cousin, Margie stepped away, the daughter fainted. She was so upset as I know she did not want to upset her mother. So, I told her of my crazed induced drug story when I unplugged myself, talked to strangers, and sent scary texts to some of you, Alex’s babysitter, and his principal. She smiled and said now she did not feel so bad especially since the nurses had to add their perception of my craziness. Margie kept me smiling and time passed and we always seem to bring a lot of sunshine even in this more sunny closet.

Yesterday was yesterday, but I should have known based on Thursday night when I could not eat a bit of food that I was going to be nauseous. So, I lost a bit of yesterday and took some meds, so I could eat. I am sure all was fine since I only lost 1lb since my last closet visit and I ate all these yummy treats brought to me by my neighbors on Christmas eve.  Today, I am much better and looking forward to getting outside. I wish all of you the best Christmas and healthy 2011 for everyone. I appreciate all of your notes, emails, cards, hugs, support, and love. Besides all of you, my family both near and far have given me the strength to continue this challenge.

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2 Responses to ““We should stop and revel in the time that we have right now, instead of wishing it away.” Vickie Girard”

  1. amy Says:

    Joanie, You continue to inspire me. Only you could have a closet remodel done so quick! I got to see my nephew last night. He is back in school this semester. His blood count is up and up for a scan soon as well. You are always in my prayers. I think about you every day. You will probably going to be the one who finds the cure for cancer. I have never met anyone more determined, dedicated and strong as you. When you are feeling up to it. We would like to have the fam over for dinner.:) Ox Amy

  2. Audrey Says:

    Joanie, wanted to wish you, Jim and Alex a Happy 2011. You all have been on my mind over this holiday time. Matthew and Michael have both been home and it has been forever since we have all been together. Can’t remember the last time. Off of work for the last 2 weeks enjoying every second of my family.

    Happy to read all your news and hope the nausea has subsided so you can continue to eat all the goodies you have received!! Love you! You are ALWAYS in my prayers. I think of you all often. Hugs to all

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