Chemo Closet stinks…literally!

Ooh, never before have I smelled such a smell.  I should have known from a conversation I had with a new patient who almost ran out of the closet to where I was waiting in the waiting area. The nurse was telling him to sit down and he asked me 3 times if he looked grey or bad or “not right”. After several times of having the nurse tell him to come back to the closet and he kept refusing, I should have known that there was something not so special in the closet today. He was chanting, “I am going to beat this” . As  he walked out,  I told him he would since he seemed pretty feisty! I did enjoy my drive with a friend who made the drive go very quickly! The closet was filled with a stench that made me want to be sick and the visual was to match. There were hairless women who all appeared to be very grey and some men too. Luckily there were 2 chairs empty on the other side of the bathroom which “splits” the closet in two. This way, I did not have to look at the depressing visual even though I was still smelling the smell. Like the man I met outside in the waiting room, I started chanting to myself too and thought there are those who are worse off than me. I was the only one who could walk to the bathroom fully erect. Most of these people were not old, but in such frail health. My chanting stopped once the nurse told me that my platelets were NORMAL! So, my red count is not, but it will be eventually. Things got much better when my cousin, Margie arrived after searching all closets for me. We laughed a lot and before we knew it, it was over. Unfortunately, the smell still stayed with me. I was happy to have a short infusion and they told me that I could expect to be tired and maybe a little bit nauseous, but nothing like before. They were right except that I have no appetite and would not call it full nausea. I am fine with this. I also learned that the lovely rash I have on my body is from the chemo. It will eventually go away. Good to know! So, lesson learned again about feeling good to feel as good as I feel?! I know I can do this and I will not let the “stinks” get me down.


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