“Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.” Helen Keller

On a positive note, I made it first in line to Diddy Riese and told the guys who work there that I had to get to the hospital as the nurses were counting on these cookies. He opened a few minutes early, so I could get my precious cookies. Upon my arrival, I noticed new lamps and more light in the waiting room, but if they could only change the chairs. When I gave the cookies to the front office, I was greeted with “you look amazing, your hair is beautiful, you look fantastic”. My Doctor even came out of the office to greet me and shake my hand saying I look great. Wow, my outfit must have been good and Jim said the eyebrows worked really well today! Nice way to start. Plus, the best was that as the door opened with my nurse, it was my favorite one!! Wow, this is all before my second delivery of cookies. She is the best of the best and gives me all details big and small. At my weigh in, I was just right. Of course, they have to comment that I could gain 5 more pounds, but hey I am sticking with just right until my taste buds come back!! When I looked at the closet, it was filled with the old, moan and groan crowd. UGH! Also, the women in PJs who had no hair, no makeup, no smiles, and some even had the patches of bald with some hair. Plus, the worst part was that the music was gone. I asked my nurse who informed me that this group was a non music group and had complained about the music. After taking all my blood tests, I was greeting with my cheerleaders, doctors and nurses telling me that my red count was almost normal AND my test that measures the cancer was even lower and normal. Yipee! I also had visitors from the rest of the nurses who told me that I look fantastic and they were glad to see that my face was not so gaunt. I think I did get the most stylish award, but it wasn’t saying much with this crowd. I continued to smile and laugh and got a few smiles back. Even the woman who was walking around with the bald and hair patches decided to put on a hat. With Jim at my side attending to all my requests big and small, time went by fast. We also got to catch up on everything, since I am usually asleep when he comes to bed and he is up before me on calls or gone to work. Also, my Doctor visited us almost every hour if not more. Of course, when Jim went to get my lunch, I had a visitor. He was at the nurses station and then made a straight line for me. He introduced himself by name, but did not give a title. He did have a badge, but I could not read it. He asked me first if I was a single mom (after he had asked me if I had kids), then asked if I had a partner, then asked if I was married. I was curious about the order of questions, but it could be some type of sensitivity training. Then, he proceeded to tell me that if I wasn’t plugged to a machine, he would have thought I was a visitor.  He went on to ask me about my emotional state of mind. Hmmmm, very suspicious? Did the nurses report me to see if I was “faking” it or who? Maybe, a fellow chemo closet member reported me? I asked him a bunch of questions, but somehow whatever I was asking brought him to laughter. Well, guess it is okay to make one person laugh in the room of silence. I answered all his questions and then, he started asking me many philosophical questions which I did not mind and found stimulating. Uh Huh, THEN, he told me he was a chaplain, but never told me which religion not that I cared. After he left, I asked my nurse and she said that he has access to all patients since he is on the staff, but she said that she was willing to rescue me if needed, but I looked fine. He said he would be back to see me….

Soon after, I had terrible nausea which never has happened before since they usually give me all these anti nausea meds in the pre meds, plus I took pills the day before. Who knows, but I thought it would pass. It did not, so I had to get more pills from my nurse. Soon after, my cousin arrived for some fun girl talk and Jim took off to his conference calls. Time passed more quickly even without the music. I was disappointed with no new chemo schwag, so shopping was slim. There were also not so many people, but I was told by my nurse instead of basically being on top of each other holding hands of the next patient in closet 1, that they put the other patients in the second closet which I am told is not better than this closet.

I am off to get my shot today which is usually the worst part and not digging the nausea, but will take more pills. The fog usually sets in tomorrow and I start acting more like Dory from Nemo. Although yesterday, I think the nausea was causing my brain to malfunction as Jim told me that I kept telling him the same things over and over. So, I will get out of the house for a bit and am reminded that school is around the corner for us So Cal group. Make the most of your day-my usual request (almost a demand) and live in the now!

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One Response to ““Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.” Helen Keller”

  1. Carol Says:

    Joanie
    I have just discovered your blog (via Stewart)
    If anyone could make a stand up comedy routine out of medical treatment it would be you.

    Since the last post I found was last week – I hope you are feeling better as you read this.
    I loved the chaplain story – you would have thought he would introduce himself??? what the —-

    Did Alex get back to school OK?? Edie started full day kinder last Wed.
    Big girl on the bus gets picked up at 830 not back again until 400
    Long day for a little one -then Beau gives her the little brother torture traetment when she gets home. Hope your test results continue to improve and sounds like the cookies are working to improve your treatment at the facility. Thinking of you.
    Love Carol

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