“You fill up my senses like a night in the forest…” John Denver

Last night, we saw the fireworks at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater while listening to Jim Curry sing John Denver songs. I am not a big fan of John Denver music, but enjoyed a few songs. I was wearing my other wig which felt like I was wearing a hat instead of a wig. Very strange feeling. I was busy looking at all the bald headed men noticing their smooth heads and wondering if their heads ever looked like mine. Also, I still wonder what the secret of a good smooth bald head is…I read about face cleanser, but cannot find the secret of the combination of chemo and skin care for the head! Since we have season tickets, we see the same “group” every year. While talking with the group, I wondered if they were looking at me and thinking that something looks different, but could not place it. It all seems so strange that a year ago I had hair and no cancers. Also strange is my new sensitive chemo nose. A big group event (even outdoors) with many women between the age of 65-85 who wear large amounts of perfume like at the concert last night is a gigantic nightmare for me. I think I will have to carry a lemon around with me or peppermint oil to sniff to counter the large amounts of very strong perfume that I used to not smell, but now is so offensive to me. This sensitive nose issue continues around my house where I sniff around trying to find the “food gone bad”, “stinky boy clothes”, or other stinky smells that I have to scrub away with baking soda and lemon juice both to see the reaction of bubbles and to get rid of odors big and small. Of course, no one else seems to smell these smells, and I think Alex just tries to make me happy by saying he doesn’t smell THE smell anymore. Back to the concert, despite the large amount of perfume smells, we had a great time seeing the fireworks and having some wine and some special treats even though I should have brought hot chocolate! This is the coldest 4th of July that I can remember.

I have continued my chemo nesting syndrome where I prepare my house, myself, and anything else that I think needs to be done before my week of time warp and chemo fog. I even organized the tupperware, so that we have matching lids and containers just in case a lid crisis occurs during my fog.  I took a break from my preparations to walk with the boys at Salt Creek where we had to wear sweatshirts! We saw a pod of dolphins and saw many surfers doing cartwheels over the waves. Crazy waves!

My new situation with my eyebrows happened this morning. I went to the mirror and half of my left eyebrow was gone. At first, I was pissed off, but then I thought hey, this is like one of those matching exercises that Alex has where you have to draw the left side to match the right. I had one good right eyebrow to match with my left. Just typical of the way things work with me, so now I have time to practice before both eyebrows are gone. Jim thought I did an excellent job of matching the left side to the right and even commented that they both look better than before, but this just adds to my new training skills that I need to practice. I also noticed that it was raining eyelashes, so I guess these are soon to follow. I am more focused on the eyebrows than the lashes.  Funny how I cannot even remember how my curly hair felt on my face and am now used to the baldness of my head which I thought I could never get used to…so, I will continue my chemo nesting syndrome of lists to be made, clothes to be washed, and activities to be done before Thursday. As usual, I will make the most of the day and night and ask you all to try to do the same!


2 Responses to ““You fill up my senses like a night in the forest…” John Denver”

  1. Tami Says:

    If you ever see a John Denver concert on PBS be sure to look for my friend Pat Hawk (Tony’s sister) with the red hair singing backup and her hubby Alan Deremo on bass guitar..

    It was the coldest 4th of July I can remember….I wore long pants to watch the fireworks and I can’t remember ever wearing them before!

    And, hey, my eyelashes fall out everyday…yours will grow back but mine are gone forever. Miss you!

  2. jennifer Says:

    You are amazing. Stay positive. We are thinking of you. And let me know if Alex ever wants to come have a play date with Sam.

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